Hurricane

Several years ago, back in my hometown of Hell, a rather large hurricane came through. Everyone was stampeding grocery stores and outdoor goods places like a herd of spooked wildebeest with a penchant for stakeouts. Dutifully (prompted by my mother) I picked up some bottled water and canned food; I then got a couple of plastic tarps and nailed them over the giant windows in my apartment (which I thought was more likely to be useful).

The hurricane was supposed to hit from late afternoon/evening to early the next morning. I went out on the walkways of my second floor apartment during the early afternoon to watch the storm roll in. Then, as the rain started, I went back into my apartment and double checked all the plugs, the pipes, the windows. Then I settled in bed with a good book and read until I finally fell asleep to the sound of pouring rain and lashing winds.

About five in the morning, my cell phone rang. It was still pitch black, and the rain was beating at my windows with greater fury than I had ever seen. I answered the phone groggily.

"Are you all right?!" my mother asked. "It's supposed to be worst where you are!"

I took stock. Myself, undamaged but for interrupted sleep. My windows, intact. My roof, intact. My power, still on, although the clocks were flashing. "Yes, Mom, I'm fine. Are you okay?"

Apparently, about an hour earlier, the tree behind her house had started creaking mightily, and she decided it was safer to hide in the closet than her bedroom, which was rather close to said tree. She'd been up listening to the radio since, and got the idea into her head that I was in terrible danger. After reassuring her a couple more times and making sure she was okay, I went back to sleep.

When the storm cleared, it was obvious that I'd escaped any real damage. I took down the tarps; the windows hadn't cracked. My car was fine; my home was fine; my power was on. The water didn't work, but I'd planned for a day or so of that. As it turns out, I was among 4% of the entire city that still had power, and pretty much the only person I knew in town who hadn't suffered so much as a broken window or a flooded car. My mother's tree fell, but fortunately it fell in the direction it could do the least possible damage: into the pool. I ended up having three (sometimes four) friends over in an extended slumber party to keep them out of the heat.

But the funniest part? I slept through a freaking hurricane. G'night, folks.